Day 45-3/5/16

Still no period.

Breast feeding has obviously screwed everything up. I did have a moment of hope Saturday morning when I realised my CM was like egg whites. A sure sign ovulation is close at hand.

Unfortunately, a 6M old baby with a stinking head cold put paid to any horizontal shenanigans over the bank holiday weekend. 

I've got a meeting Thursday lunchtime where I'm going to ask for part time hours.  Pretty stressed about that.

Wanting a child, is such a terrible longing and yet when you already have a baby it's like society says you are not allowed to bemoan your lack of conception. It's greedy apparently.

Sod it, I'm feeling sorry for myself tonight.

Fingers crossed 

X

Day 26- 14/4/16

So still no period. I haven't bothered testing again as I had three negatives after I was due. I know I'm not pregnant.

It's irritating as im sure this is all down to breastfeeding that my cycle is so messed up.

Fingers crossed 

Day 20 - 8/4/16

So I'm currently 8 days late and still getting negative tests. 

I really don't think I'm pregnant. I'm getting a lot of period type signs - bloating, aching feeling, minor cramping etc.

I would, however, like to get my period so I can properly start tracking again. 

I'm guessing this uncertainty and irregularity is because I'm breastfeeding. 

Sigh.

It's hard sometimes.

Fingers crossed. 

Day13-1/4/16

Apt day today - day 13.

I finally went out and got a pregnancy test. Big fat negative.

I wasn't surprised, but I am disappointed,  even after my recent concerns.

In other news £6.50 for 1 test in Tesco! I can't have that, especially if I intend to obsessively test like last time. So I hopped online to eBay and picked up 30 basic tests for under £3 incl p&p.

Should have guessed I wasn't pregnant as I spent a lot of the morning in tears worrying about money. A sure sign I'm emotional and due to get my period. 

Maybe next month.

Fingers crossed.

X

Day 11- 30/03/2016

Last week I came down with a horrible bug. I was vomiting and had crippling diarrhoea. 

It is the first day since my beautiful daughter was born that I struggled. I found looking after a baby when so poorly really hard. My fiancé was at work and my family on holiday. There was nothing to do but endure. 

The result is that I got really worried about the practical implications of a second baby. I had a cry to be honest.

Today I finally had my appointment at hospital with the bum nurse. I'm sure she has a very high brow sounding title. The reality is she is a nurse specialising in bums. I had to have two particularly unpleasant tests. The result was I'm fine after giving birth, but the advice is if I do get pregnant again then it would be best to have a cesarian section rather than risk another vaginal birth due to the damage I have. 

I'm currently 10dpo (10 days past ovulation) and planning on testing this weekend.

Fingers crossed.

Day 5- 24/3/16

I'm currently at deaths door with a sickness and diarrhoea bug.

However, my little daughter doesn't know that and wants to be entertained in between dashes to the loo.

Normal service will be resumed shortly.

Fingers Crossed!

Day 3- 22/3/16

I've been trying to find out the answer to a question I have. Buggered if I can get a straight answer from anyone.

Can I take folic acid if I'm breastfeeding?

I've started taking it, as a couple of websites have said its okay. I don't generally like to use "the internet said its fine" as an answer but even a healthcare professional pointed me in the direction of "the breastfeeding network"

Yes, I'm greedy. I do already have a child. If you hadn't got that from the blog's title then, well you're a dumbass!

My DD (dear daughter stupid  trying to

conceive acronyms) is 5 months old.

After spending my entire adult life trying not to get pregnant it comes as somewhat of a shock to find out you're barren.

Of course, I am not barren. I've got a daughter. But when, after extensive tests, I was told I had barely any eggs left. The word barren flashes in your head.

My beautiful daughter is a miracle, conceived just prior to starting IVF.

I would love to have the luxury of time. However, I have Mother Nature at my ear and so I need to start trying now. Hoping there is at least one good egg left and I may soon be blessed again.

Fingers Crossed